Night is a life, world is a sleep,
Dreaming in promises you can't keep.
I've gotta be tough, I've gott a be strong,
It's only love I've been waiting on.
It's only a dream, It's all in my head,
It's only some words somebody said.
I can believe what I wanna believe ,
And you can believe in me.
Putting up with all this, may be you will come along,
It's only love I've been waiting on.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Friday, March 14, 2008
Bangalore to Delhi
I am at Legends of Rock, I am high. I try to hypnotize myself looking continuously at the neon lights, thinking about the moments spent at this place... my Bengaluru Days. In arms of my old buddies... almost canceling my flight to Delhi. Ravishankar after a drink says... "I love you maga..." Bob keeps his head on my shoulder... says... "I missed u bugger". I say to myself... this is my place... my world...my friends.
I am getting high...I start getting lost in the lights, I close my eyes... I see eyes of a woman... I say to myself "Its okay man...you are just infatuated". I close my eyes... feel the dizz and at once I see her eyes. I come up again all ruffled up... only to see BB King singin' some love song. What the hell I say! it is LoR... play something psychedelic! Wrong timing. Another drink, and again I look at the neon lights... I close my eyes... this time I see her face... take a deep sigh... and I say to myself... "Oh My God! I love her" These were the exact words that came out of my heart, mouth... I even said it. Friends pulling leg... "Who is She!" Finally sardar loves someone.
Bob askin... Who is she bugger?... Deepanjali... Sheetal... who who who! I didn't utter a word, hung on to my drink, wondering what have I said. (Vikas... aka Bob... my good friend... "The Bugger!"). We were at the pub at 3pm and it was 6:30 pm now. I just said... "I got to go!" People upset... asking "Where?". I say.. Delhi. and then Why? I gotta meet #######! Again... "Who is this #######!". By that time I was high. I kept on repeating like a stuck playing record. People freaked out. Sayin... Stay Maninder Stay... atleast a day... you have come after a year! People pulling arms, pleading to stay, but I knew... I could catch the 7:30 flight. 1 hr and that airport road traffic. Even then... I kept repeating.... I gotta meet #######! I thought I could make it. Anyway... Uday... offered his Scorpio... drove me down that traffic to the airport. Nice dude he is... any worries in life... go to him. Made it just 15 mins before departure.
Seeing me drunk... air hostess asking... "Sir... do you really have to travel" I say... "O hell Yeah!" They got me seated. Lady sitting beside me... smelling... making faces... I get irritated and say... "so what... I am drunk!" and again... the real side of me. I say it! I took off. All the way in the flight... I kept taking deep sighs... and sayin... "Oh My God!... I love her". Ladies have this knack... while off boarding at Delhi... my copassenger came to me at the baggage claim and said... "Best of Luck", she figured it out I guess. Anyway, reached my cousins.... In expectation to meet her next morning. Next morning I realize, I had left my iPod in the flight. Let go! I say
Mann... I could not meet her... She was busy... Her exam time... She could not come... and I was so much flowing in my emotions... That I cried that day...cried lots... like a girl... after years I guess. Cried because I had ditched people who love me in quest to meet someone whom I love. I was lost, neither here not there, I hope my friends forgive me. She thinks I cried because I left my iPod in the flight. Well, I guess I projected in such a way. I don't know what is this, I was a free bird.
That day afternoon, I was just sitting roadside after a bath with a bottle of limca, consoling myself, and a fakir comes along. He asks for a rupee, I did not have change. He pleaded, I felt like helping the poor guy, I said... baba I've got 10 bucks. I gave it to him, he was soo happy. What he did... he folded that 10 rupee note like a square locket and kept it in the center of my palm and asked me to make a fist, I did it. He said a few mantras and asked me to open my fist. To my surprise, I find a metallic locket there. I was head over heels, wondering, sayin... "What the hell!" Whatever I say, it had happened right on my palm, in front of my eyes and I was not drunk. After that, the fakir, lookin' into my eyes started telling my mindset, where am I heading, what am I thinking... and he was correct. I did not believe it, because I never did. I had never believed in those supernatural things, those "taveez" and all. But that day, my belief was questioned... "Do these things really exist?" Well, I was truly in India. Then he asked me to wear that locket round my neck as that would help me achieve my targets in my life. Well, I did not not. I returned that taveez back to the baba and with respect I said, I do not believe in all this, thanks anyway for your help, you are really good. Baba left, all pissed, calling me moorkh (moron). Well, I have always believed, a man makes his own destiny and I stuck to it, no taveez can help it, I still think that is crap, may be that baba was good at his trick. But how the hell did he read my mind in font of me, that is still a mystery. Anyway, I was off to Punjab.
I was suppose to leave India a week after that. I think she had pity on me as she called over to meet the day I left India. As they say "Beggars are not Choosers", she showed pity, I thought... may be that is what I deserve. Thought this is a golden chance... I will open up, could not. Talked, but in my pocket. Something was wrong with me, I was not the same, I was unable to talk. That was quite a meeting, I had never felt like such a bunny in front of a woman. I was even scared to look into her eyes and talk. I knew I was going far, stole some memories but, I ain't gonna write here. I am here now. This week has been the most difficult week of my life, I think of her all the time. Ma'an... India seems far now.
I am getting high...I start getting lost in the lights, I close my eyes... I see eyes of a woman... I say to myself "Its okay man...you are just infatuated". I close my eyes... feel the dizz and at once I see her eyes. I come up again all ruffled up... only to see BB King singin' some love song. What the hell I say! it is LoR... play something psychedelic! Wrong timing. Another drink, and again I look at the neon lights... I close my eyes... this time I see her face... take a deep sigh... and I say to myself... "Oh My God! I love her" These were the exact words that came out of my heart, mouth... I even said it. Friends pulling leg... "Who is She!" Finally sardar loves someone.
Bob askin... Who is she bugger?... Deepanjali... Sheetal... who who who! I didn't utter a word, hung on to my drink, wondering what have I said. (Vikas... aka Bob... my good friend... "The Bugger!"). We were at the pub at 3pm and it was 6:30 pm now. I just said... "I got to go!" People upset... asking "Where?". I say.. Delhi. and then Why? I gotta meet #######! Again... "Who is this #######!". By that time I was high. I kept on repeating like a stuck playing record. People freaked out. Sayin... Stay Maninder Stay... atleast a day... you have come after a year! People pulling arms, pleading to stay, but I knew... I could catch the 7:30 flight. 1 hr and that airport road traffic. Even then... I kept repeating.... I gotta meet #######! I thought I could make it. Anyway... Uday... offered his Scorpio... drove me down that traffic to the airport. Nice dude he is... any worries in life... go to him. Made it just 15 mins before departure.
Seeing me drunk... air hostess asking... "Sir... do you really have to travel" I say... "O hell Yeah!" They got me seated. Lady sitting beside me... smelling... making faces... I get irritated and say... "so what... I am drunk!" and again... the real side of me. I say it! I took off. All the way in the flight... I kept taking deep sighs... and sayin... "Oh My God!... I love her". Ladies have this knack... while off boarding at Delhi... my copassenger came to me at the baggage claim and said... "Best of Luck", she figured it out I guess. Anyway, reached my cousins.... In expectation to meet her next morning. Next morning I realize, I had left my iPod in the flight. Let go! I say
Mann... I could not meet her... She was busy... Her exam time... She could not come... and I was so much flowing in my emotions... That I cried that day...cried lots... like a girl... after years I guess. Cried because I had ditched people who love me in quest to meet someone whom I love. I was lost, neither here not there, I hope my friends forgive me. She thinks I cried because I left my iPod in the flight. Well, I guess I projected in such a way. I don't know what is this, I was a free bird.
That day afternoon, I was just sitting roadside after a bath with a bottle of limca, consoling myself, and a fakir comes along. He asks for a rupee, I did not have change. He pleaded, I felt like helping the poor guy, I said... baba I've got 10 bucks. I gave it to him, he was soo happy. What he did... he folded that 10 rupee note like a square locket and kept it in the center of my palm and asked me to make a fist, I did it. He said a few mantras and asked me to open my fist. To my surprise, I find a metallic locket there. I was head over heels, wondering, sayin... "What the hell!" Whatever I say, it had happened right on my palm, in front of my eyes and I was not drunk. After that, the fakir, lookin' into my eyes started telling my mindset, where am I heading, what am I thinking... and he was correct. I did not believe it, because I never did. I had never believed in those supernatural things, those "taveez" and all. But that day, my belief was questioned... "Do these things really exist?" Well, I was truly in India. Then he asked me to wear that locket round my neck as that would help me achieve my targets in my life. Well, I did not not. I returned that taveez back to the baba and with respect I said, I do not believe in all this, thanks anyway for your help, you are really good. Baba left, all pissed, calling me moorkh (moron). Well, I have always believed, a man makes his own destiny and I stuck to it, no taveez can help it, I still think that is crap, may be that baba was good at his trick. But how the hell did he read my mind in font of me, that is still a mystery. Anyway, I was off to Punjab.
I was suppose to leave India a week after that. I think she had pity on me as she called over to meet the day I left India. As they say "Beggars are not Choosers", she showed pity, I thought... may be that is what I deserve. Thought this is a golden chance... I will open up, could not. Talked, but in my pocket. Something was wrong with me, I was not the same, I was unable to talk. That was quite a meeting, I had never felt like such a bunny in front of a woman. I was even scared to look into her eyes and talk. I knew I was going far, stole some memories but, I ain't gonna write here. I am here now. This week has been the most difficult week of my life, I think of her all the time. Ma'an... India seems far now.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Finally, I've Lost it...
One year of wait, 19hrs of flying... finally, I reached India. A much awaited vacation was on... after all my fuses were blown away.
Sitting on the flight from Paris to Delhi... looking at the GPS in front of me... me flying over countries... no excitement, it felt like any other trip not until I could see New Delhi in the vicinity and my bird was over Pakistan. Suddenly, I dont know why... my heart beat increased, I started getting excited. Was it because I was coming home? Was it because I was meeting someone special?... I dont know. It was night and my bird was hovering above Delhi, I could see the night lights... it was heart warming and finally the touch down, I was home.
Felt great, out at the airport, the organized chaos made me feel at home. At the immigration check, Indians getting a warm welcome home and foreign people getting frisked... I looked back over my shoulder... I HAD WINGS... I felt free.
Beleive me... I did not drink Red Bull :-)
...to be continued.
Sitting on the flight from Paris to Delhi... looking at the GPS in front of me... me flying over countries... no excitement, it felt like any other trip not until I could see New Delhi in the vicinity and my bird was over Pakistan. Suddenly, I dont know why... my heart beat increased, I started getting excited. Was it because I was coming home? Was it because I was meeting someone special?... I dont know. It was night and my bird was hovering above Delhi, I could see the night lights... it was heart warming and finally the touch down, I was home.
Felt great, out at the airport, the organized chaos made me feel at home. At the immigration check, Indians getting a warm welcome home and foreign people getting frisked... I looked back over my shoulder... I HAD WINGS... I felt free.
Beleive me... I did not drink Red Bull :-)
...to be continued.
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